Alienating behaviors include:

Badmouthing the rejected parent, such as:
— Speaking negatively to or about a parent in front of the child.
— Untruthfully suggesting other parent is dangerous.
— Inappropriately confiding adult information to the child.

Interfering with a child’s contact with a rejected parent, such as:
— Throwing out gifts and letters.
— Calling excessively during time with other parent.
— Early pickups or late drop offs.
— Forbidding any reference to, or photos of, the parent.
— Scheduling activities that compete with time with the parent.
— Monitoring or forbidding communication or time with the parent.

Manipulating a child to reject a parent, such as:
— Inducing guilt for having fun or feeling love toward rejected parent.

Undermining child’s relationship with the rejected parent, such as:
— Asking the child to spy on or keep secrets from other parent.
— Forcing the child to choose between parents.
— Creating conflict between the child and other parent.
— Interrogating the child after time with other parent.
— Providing inappropriate information about finances, marriage or divorce issues.
— Giving a cell phone that restricts calling anyone other than favored parent.

Undermining other parent’s role in child’s life, such as:
— Refusing to provide child’s medical and educational information to a parent.
— Not informing a parent of important events (awards, graduations, etc.)
— Rewriting history to reduce other parent’s role in child’s life.
— Reinforcing security and promoting fear of danger of other parent.

An alienated child of parents in conflict may:
— Express hatred toward other parent and his/her family.
— Obsessively parrot other parent despite positive personal experiences.
— Refuse to visit or communicate with other parent.
— Hold negative beliefs about the parent that are unfounded in reality.

Why would the child believe the alienating parent or caregiver?
— To protect an adult who is depressed, anxious or needy.
— To avoid anger or rejection by the alienating adult.
— Has been cut off from the parent and manipu-lated to believe they do not love him/her.

How can you help a child and his or her rejected parent?
— If you are a teacher, counselor, coach, clergyperson, social services professional, friend, or family member:
— Listen to the child, without negating what the child is saying, regardless of how outlandish it may be (it is their reality); encourage the child to hear the rejected parent’s point of view. Appeal to the child’s intellect; encouraging him/her to consider ideas or statements blatantly false or outlandish.
— If appropriate, invite child and rejected parent to the same function, making the child aware that the rejected parent is valued.
— Look for opportunities to provide positive input about the targeted parent.

Information for this article reprinted from the following resources:
www.parental-alienation-awareness.com
www.uptoparents.org
www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com.
“Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking The Ties That Bind” by Amy J. Baker.
“Children Held Hostage: Dealing With Programmed and Brainwashed Children” by Stanley S. Clawar.
“Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Children from Parental Alienation” by Douglas Darnall.
“Divorce Poison: Protecting The Parent-Child Bond From A Vindictive Ex” by Richard A. Warshak.