healthy family
A Mother's Story
By Jill Egizii
I didn’t know what parental alienation was until it happened to me. I stumbled upon the term on the internet one day and thought “My gosh, that’s what’s happening to me!” My battle has been ongoing for over five years at a cost of over a half million dollars.
My Story
On January 9, 2005, the subtle first sign of parental alienation happened when my children abruptly hung up while in the middle of a phone conversation. As I look back in my journal, I can now see clearly the pattern that developed over time. Hang-ups turned into little or no phone communication. While my ex-husband and I had agreed to joint custody-a word I now despise-my scheduled meaningful time with my children was often cancelled with excuses of illness, something better planned with their father or simply refusing to be with me.
Days and nights passed without so much as a ‘hello’ as I continually called cell phones to leave messages of ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’ and ‘please call back’. When I saw their number on my caller ID, excitement turned into despair when I sensed their reluctance to speak and the growing animosity in their tone. I tried to be rational with them, appealing to their Christian beliefs and upbringing. Nothing worked. Eventually they were calling me by my first name and even saying they were afraid of me.
Four children who I had raised and nurtured were now an army marching into battle against me – even into a court of law. Days and months have now turned into over five years and I, along with my parents and immediate family, are heartbroken at the loss of a once loving relationship with my children.
Feelings of frustration, hopelessness, anger and sadness eventually evolved into an inner resolve and deeper sense of purpose. After sitting on the couch and crying for what seemed like months, I decided “this isn’t me. I’m not going to do this anymore”.
I took control of the strong feelings that were ruling my life and made the decision to use this experience to help other people-turning lemons into lemonade. I became active in groups like Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, American Coalition for Fathers and Children and Children Need Both Parents. January 5th marked an important milestone when my novel The Look of Love was released. Writing this book served as an outlet for my feelings and an opportunity to share stories of other victims of parental alienation.
Using children as a weapon not only affects the alienated parent, it reaches its tentacles into every aspect of your life, families and society, while destroying the self-esteem and trust that your children once possessed.
 Jill Egizii is the mother of four beautiful children in Leland Grove, IL, where she serves as an Alderman. She was appointed to the Illinois Family Law Study Committee, whose mission is to revamp the state’s divorce law. Jill is politically active in the parental alienation movement and author of The Look of Love, available online and in bookstores. For more information, visit www.thelookoflovebook.com
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